Friday, December 18, 2015
A Political Christmas Fantasy
Here’s a great idea for a Christmas present only you can bring as a gift to America. With your state-of-the-art workshop along with the talent and genius of your elves, your North Pole HQ could make this happen just in the Nick of time (Nick…St Nick…get it?! Ho Ho Ho!)
OK - here’s the plan: Since none of the GOP Top Tier Presidential candidates have all the qualities and talents necessary to capture the hearts and minds of American voters, construct the Perfect Composite Candidate made from the “best and brightest” qualities of all of them! Here’s the list of candidates along with their most attractive individual features you can incorporate in the new PCC (Perfect Composite Candidate):
The Donald: Take his fearless, Establishment-upsetting frankness; his instinct to connect to the gut feelings of the American people - and his money;
Dr. Ben Carson: Add in his self-control, maturity and cautious thought processing;
Sen. Ted Cruz: Program in his mental alacrity, debating skills coupled with his encyclopedic knowledge, photographic memory and contagious passion;
Sen. Marco Rubio: Incorporate his smooth, articulate speaking skills. A smidgen of his youthful good looks wouldn’t hurt;
Sen. Rand Paul: Include every bit of his knowledge and respect for the sanctity of Constitutional principles and his demonstrated compassion as a doctor;
Carly Fiorina: Take her technical knowledge, international business experience and her trump card: a woman’s perspective;
Chris Christie: Just a soupçon of adrenalin for the correct position on specific challenging issues. Warning: The tendency for heavy-handed (sic) government intrusion and control is pervasive in this one. Be careful none of it leaks onto the others.(Oh – and avoid the GWB, Rt. 46 and the Ft. Lee exit in the afternoon).
John Kasich: Frankly, Santa, there just isn’t anything worthwhile to take from this one. Toss him to the sociopaths on the Left where he and his karate-chop hand gestures might hit something fragile.
Well, there you have it, Santa! Just think: a charming, attractive, articulate, educated, intelligent, passionate, empathetic Constitution respecting, Liberty-loving, Freedom-focused, small government dedicated, fiscally responsible candidate for President!
What a concept!
Hope you’re up to the challenge!
PS: Please deliver to Iowa…
Posted by Brian Wilson at 11:35 AM