My Irregular Unsolicited Prediction

Finally! My crystal ball is back from the shop (parts delay, etc.) - serendipitously arriving just in time for this efflugent prediction for the second GOP presidential debate (9/27 FOX Business, Univision, Rumble).
In harmony with my posted promise to keep things “mercifully short', here goes...

Required background:

No doubt you've heard Wednesday’s show (accurate term) will be 'moderated' by FOX folks Dano Perino and Stuart Varney, joined by Univision's llia Calderon. Interestingly, the first debate was dubitably overseen by those two consistantly caliginous moderators, Baier and MacCallum. While Calderon's presence is not without precedent, the exclusion of FOX star Maria Bartiromo did raise an eyebrow.

As of this scribbling, six Republican wanna-be's (minus DJT) made it through the RNC labyrith of qualifications for their stage G-spot. An additional one for NJ's perpetual Sore Loser, Chris Christe, would have been appropriate considering stage size and the mild claustrophobia shared by some participants. C'est la vie.

With all parties in place, my prediction for the allotted 2-hours can be described succinctly as the xenophobic “Chinese Fire Drill” or the Marine Corps's infamous “clusterfuck”. Either of those or your choice for 'chaos and confusion' are acceptable.


To the person, every pundit, commentator and blabbermouth asked the open-ended and empty-brained “What should we expect from the debate?” has responded identically: “No candidate in the first debate had a 'Break Out” moment, so at least one of them needs that in this debate”! Two who have commented thus are Perino and Varney. Without a backhoe, one could not set the Meaningful Content bar any lower. Unless the chattering class was referring to a late-life occurrence of acne, a ‘Break Out’ moment will require at least one 'actor' to do something so outrageous, it will dominate every post 'debate' review - plus make the NFL Highlight reel; subject and substance are irrelevant and immaterial. My prediction includes the 'moderators' making every effort to pose one or more inflammatory questions to light the fuse. They are being Performance graded, too. You don't really believe this prime time balderdash has anything to do with governance, crime, the national debt, illegal immigration, freedom, rights or other Fantasy Land notions, do ya? This is an uber-expensive popularity contest for the viewers and beauty contest for the donors (all in the front rows) with the worst possible qualifications for a Winner.

But I digress...

What that Orwellian “Moment of Outrage” will be, my crystal wonder-sphere is mum. Even my fall-back Ouija board is mute, but it will be there. “Break-out moment” = Ratings. The first ‘debate’ set a ratings record for a Non-Sporting event. Under-New-Management FOX is praying for a repeat.

Also unscheduled to appear is, at minimum, one instance of unhinged insanity featuring raised voices, unintelligible cross-talk, poorly disguised ad homonyms, wild accusations, glittering generalities and wild gesticulations from 2 or more performers all of whom will combine to shamefully highlight the inability of the 'moderators' to 'moderate'. Recallthe ridiculed and discarded Harvard embarrassment, CNN's Chris Wallace was hard pressed to bring a measure of order to the 2020 Biden-Trump corroboree. I predict, compared to these Three Amigos, Wallace would be a Tower of Strength.

Mild-mannered “too British” Stuart Varney in not seen as an 'authority figure' off the set of his FOX Business “Varney & Company”. My reliable FOX sources tell me Stuart is a profound ablutomaniac who avoids personal contact and social invitations. As my father would say, “He's a good bird but he flies funny.” Diciplinarian? Not.

Dano Perino, unquestionably the most qualified of the three, is diminutive both in stature and personality, verbally bludgeoned daily by “partner” Bill 'Mic Hog' Hemmer and suffocated on 'The Five' by the forced cackling of Greg “Foghorn' Gutfeld. Without an imposing presence, her ‘moderating’ will be tepid, however she will ask the best questions.

While Ms. Calderon's personality quirks are unknown, her well publicized positions on 'equity', 'equality' and 'diversity' do not bode well for her to single-handedly preserve order and decorum among the spatting kindergartners. In addition, as a ‘guest’ on FOX, it would be unseemly to simultaneously spotlight her host’s hosts inability to moderate even moderately.

Simply put: Wednesday's GOP Presidential Candidate's Bash will feature WWF-style chaos among Those Who Wish To Rule You along with ineffective pearl-clutching among the appointed 'adults' in limp-noodle effort(s) to moderate order in the house. More importanly, you will hear nothing to justify your vote on the grounds of Constitutional principles. If perfect pearly whites were an issue, this could be a real contest!

Bring lotsa popcorn for the fun! And plenty of beer to drown your sorrows for the tragedy the American political process has become.


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